Clarification & Relaxation

With every bad there is a good.

I know my Anxiety blog stirred up a great deal of response...support...concern...and wonderful advice. I guess that is what a blog is for. I was very touched by all of the response especially the anonymous poster's...

Things with me tend to be black or white.

There isn't much of a grey area (unless it comes to making a decision as to where we are going to eat dinner or what we will eat, if that is the case forget about it).

I felt it was very important for me to blog about what relaxes me and has been relaxing me to offset my anxiety/chron's stomach problems. I liked to be balanced like that.

But, before I do that I need to clarify, explain or just plain educate. I dont want everyone worrying about me, although I love knowing I have an amazing support system out there in real life and blog world.

My anxiety isn't what is getting the best of me. Its the chron's reaction to the anxiety. Most of the poster's probably know what Chron's Disease is...but if not read here if your curious or interested.  ***Warning too much info*** The anxiety is brought on by the thought of being stuck in the bathroom (while my child is unattended or screaming with gas) because my stomach is so upset from being anxious about trivial things. This isn't anything new. This has been going on since I was 16 years old. You can ask any high school friend or confidant. Friday night football games ... you would find me in the bathroom with a stomach ache. To add to the fire I have IBS and am Lactose Intolerant. I also have a very high pulse naturally thanks to my anxiety, usually around 110. My Chron's is supposedly inactive (or at least was prior to getting pregnant). I am unmedicated and am used to dealing with the consequences of both... I will be OK.  As of today my pulse is in the 90's which means I am learning to cope and manage my anxiety day by day. This is a huge feat and I believe partially due to breastfeeding. As many of you mentioned I am a very strong person. Most people never know anything is ever "wrong" with me or about any of the medical "conditions" I have or have had...I'm just not into living a life of pity or suffering. I like to live a healthy active life!

Most people are surprised how relaxed we are with Asher. Its amazing how I can have such anxiety, yet I am so relaxed. 

So with that in mind these are a few of the things that relax me to offset everything else:

• Philip's daily phone calls to tell me that he misses me, loves me and can't wait to see me when he gets home (he has done this since we got married and now does it even more because he misses both Asher and I.)
  
• Knowing that my parents live in our neighborhood and my inlaws live 2 miles away. We can call on them for anything... trust me we have and they are willing to help in a flash!
  
• The sounds that Asher makes when he nurses.
  
• Our night time feedings, just the two of us, bonding.
  
• His new found smile when we talk to him.
  
• Sleeping ...believe it or not even though he has stomach problems he sleeps at least 4-6 hours at a time at night!
  
• Daily shower's (I hate feeling dirty...and breastfeeding is a workout...it makes me sweat!)
  
• Working out, walking outside or doing some physical activity that makes me sweat (but of course I hate feeling dirty...must change immediately after!)
  
• Supportive and loving friends and family
  
• Sitting on my back patio listening to music and admiring all of our hard labor in the yard
  
• The smell of Philip's aftershave
  
• My cleaning lady once a month
  
• Our faith and prayer
  
• Maxi dresses
  
• Sitting in the sun
  
• Spending time in Asher's nursery
  
• Watching Asher sleep peacefully
  
• Cuddling with Philip
• ...the list goes on...

I find comfort in the fact that I can come up with so many more things that relax me than make me anxious. This post is a little more timely. I wrote it today, published it today. My Anxiety post I wrote and posted about 5 days later. We are now jiving. We are getting a routine. We are learning how he works and he is learning how we work. The fact that I have had this much time today to write this blog is a big deal. The reason being is because we have started putting Asher down in his crib before he falls asleep in our arms. Unswaddled. He plays on his own coo'ing and wiggling to the music on his ipod. In due time he falls asleep. Its bliss. He is such a happier baby and we are happier parents! We have learned this is what he likes.

I am finally feeling human and with that I continue to pray that each day we learn more and more about each other... in this amazing time of our lives as parents! We are so lucky.